labor nurse has been reborn and shares her experiences as a new nurse-midwife, woman, and blogger

Thursday, March 13, 2008

My Crazy Brain

Ya know, today I went to work and was dreading it. I have too much to do, tests to study for, reading to catch up on, clinical hours to fulfill....I just want to have a day this week I could sleep in a little, do some school work, and feel a little more on top of things.

That didn't happen.

But what I was surprised about was that once I got to work, got into the groove of my assignment, helped welcome a couple of babies into this world, I thought, Why can't my life be as simple as just going to work and coming home? What got into me to want to do more than that?

I'm just so sick of school...

5 comments:

Myra said...

I hear you. My original plan after graduation this spring is for me to continue straight through and get my BS then masters in midwifery - full steam ahead. But instead I'm taking a small break... I am tired. I am going to work on maternity as a RN and do just that... Just work full time: that will be a vacation.

Conflicted as I am about slowing down, for fear that I'll not return to school... However, I - and my family - need a break.

I hear you.

Labor Nurse said...

myra, I got my associate degree, then went straight to my bachelors with the intention that I would jump right into my masters. But as I was in my last year for the bachelors (rounding out my 6th year of college straight out of high school) I was so done. So I stopped with the intention of returning within 2 years. Except I didn't.

It took me 6 years to go back, but on the flip side it was for the best because what I would have gone for 6 years ago for my master's would not be midwifery. So those 6 years I got to learn about what type of nursing I loved, and gained valuable experience. And here I am....

Joyce said...

You'll look back on this time getting your masters degree and learn you are a "master" at many things; not just midwifery. Maybe that's why they call it a masters degree.

Paula said...

The question of why we want *more* work/ challenge, etc. it such a compelling one. I am in a process of deciding what next, too. I have a degree in sociology, (go ahead and laugh!) finally found my calling and have been attending births for the last 6 years as a doula. I have loved it, but I am seriously thinking about finding my way to midwifery via nursing. I dread that it may be forever! and my children are 8 and 10 now. I will sit for the IBCLE exam this summer, so I could do private practice Lactation work, but as you said, sometimes it sounds so nice to work under an umbrella organization and have a nine to five and be done with it, though I find it sooooo hard to imagine leaving a birthing woman because my shift was over.

I'm so enjoying your candor, Labor Nurse. As I tell my boys, when things are hard and you don't want to do it anymore, but do, you are growing.

Hilary said...

Hearing ya here, too. I wrote about my week on my blog, if you want to check it out, but I just finished a run of tests in med school. I took my super hard bacteriology test, turned in my super long Clinical Practicum write up, and then got to work a busy double shift in the HIV testing clinic. On about 3 hours of sleep. And you know what? I found it really hard to leave, even when my paper was due in less than 5 minutes!

I love working at the clinic. I miss being at births. I got a reminder why I was doing this, just a glimpse. I am on spring break, and I have little studying to do. I can't wait until I am on rotations.