labor nurse has been reborn and shares her experiences as a new nurse-midwife, woman, and blogger

Saturday, September 13, 2008

My Lips Are Sealed

I wonder if I am imagining this, but I think that some of my fellow RNs view me differently now that I've graduated. Fortunately, not all of them are like this, but they seem to resent my education. They have progressively been less and less interested in having a conversation with me about anything, even non-work related stuff, and have not even acknowledged that I've finished.

Now, I would often second guess myself saying that I was just being sensitive or making this up. Until, that is, a fellow nurse said to me after I attended a delivery of her's to help ended up with a sloppy birth on part of the resident and attending. They were all fumbling around with a limp, non-vigorous baby with a nuchal cord that was still tight around the baby's neck- and she and I were holding our breath hoping they'd get their act together so we could attend to the baby. All in the end turned out ok but we talked about it briefly after the fact. I said something to the effect of, "Why didn't the resident reduce that nuchal cord?" during that conversation and she responded with a like minded statement.

And then, next time we were both at the nurse's station together she said to me, "You know, you better not go off saying stuff about what should be done at deliveries because you look like a know-it-all. So you should keep your mouth shut."

Well.

I didn't say anything because I didn't want to get into it; but I can see her point. To some, no matter what I say, it will look like I am saying what should have been done or what I would do. I have been conscious of what I say and have kept quiet as much as possible. I haven't really even discussed my up-coming boards and potential job interviews because I don't want to rile any jealous feathers.

Frankly, I don't understand this animosity towards my furthering my education and moving on in my career. I've always liked hearing of nurses moving into advanced practice- there is such a great need for it that I feel the more the merrier. Why others don't feel this way is beyond me.

9 comments:

AtYourCervix said...

I'm sorry you're having issues with the nurses. Some could be jealous of your advanced nursing degree now, and could resent that you are not "one of them" anymore. I don't know. I work with midwives that used to be fellow L&D RN's, and I certainly don't treat them any different now, than I did before. We're all part of a team. Guess that's just how I (we) are in L&D, where I work.

Paula said...

Meow. Women are highly competitive and they can smell it when one outranks them. You outrank them, yet you are an "equal." The truth is they are no longer equal to you and that is threatening. It is wierd, but thats the lay of the land. You seem like a solidly down to earth person. Keep your sparking sense of humour. You may have less cameraderie (sp) as part of the price of your success until you have a job that uses all of your new talents and knowledge.

Mom said...

Maybe a little jealousy on their part? I'm sure they feel you are watching to see what they are doing vs. what you would do as a mid-wife.

THAT GIRL said...

Guess I don't get that one. I'm not a midwife or NP... I'm just a peon ASN RN... and I would have asked way someone didn't reduce a cord.

So silly. It'd be different if you were going around touting, "I would hav done it THIS WAY or THAT WAY."

I wouldn't stop loving your job just to appease some old birds.

Andrea said...

ROWR! *hiss hiss*

Sheesh.

I'm lucky to work with a supportive group. The one nurse that critiqued my practice to my face in a catty and destructive way ended up leaving, much to my joy.

I for one, am very happy for you! Consider your back patted, even if it's from someone who doesn't work L&D. (I have an associates and work ICU)

Iris said...

I am all for higher education as well. Perhaps they are just jealous. I think you are approaching it the right way.

Ciarin said...

I can totally relate....I ran into the same BS when I was going through school...I was told I was a know-it-all too. I didn't mean to sound that way - I simply was so thrilled with all the new knowledge I was learning that I wanted to share sometimes. Best thing to do is ignore it. It's sad when some nurses can't be supportive of advancing our profession.

womantowomancbe said...

This happens all the time in life -- nursing or not. Too bad some people can't just be happy, but they get jealous or feel threatened by your knowledge. Instead of bettering themselves, they'd rather pull you back down to their level. Pity them -- it helps keep from being angry at them. :-)

-Kathy

lane said...

That's what you call crab mentality.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality

They have themselves to blame. If they don't want to do the work to progress then they should be comfortable with someone else who does. Unforch, not all people think like that. I, too, get excited for other people when I see them work hard and accomplish things for themselves. It shocks and hurts me when I am slapped with this mentality. "Don't let the bastards get you down." And share what you know. You learned a lot. No need to keep it bottled up inside. Your insight is a gift.