labor nurse has been reborn and shares her experiences as a new nurse-midwife, woman, and blogger

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Rebirth Carnival, Edition 1.1

Wow, what an awesome response for the second edition of the Rebirth Carnival. I've asked for what not to say to a pregnant woman, and did I get boatloads....

Christina is an independent childbirth educator (you all know how I love those!!!) who reminds us of how long the wrong choice of words can stay with you and making assumptions about other women's choices is just not cool.

Molly's personal experience shocks me, because I thought I heard it all til someone jokingly commented on her post-pregnancy body. Her post ends with a a quote that I believe shoots right at the heart of what I am trying to point out...

Gloria Lemay, a childbirth advocate, speaker, and writer shares two posts about how, although not always a bad choice of words, but bad timing can have the same effect and off hand assumptions can knock a confident woman down a few notches.

Leanne adds "Can I?" as something that should be said... and Enjoy Birth adds her thoughts on a similar thread. Also, don't eat a cheeseburger on the way to the hospital.

Heather (who calls me a "reformed labor and delivery nurse"...hmmm) mentions some things that she's heard- personal and to others- like "you will never go into labor". Eck, talk about boosting confidence!

Amy Romano thinks it's ridiculous that professionals would advise pregnant women to bribe your labor nurse. I agree.

And some have written some great lists of things not to say, some with extra commentary:

  • Kathy lists almost all the ones I've heard and her take on them all... with exception to "natural childbirth is like natural dentistry"... really? Come on, people!
  • Reality Rounds' list has sparked a lot of talk.
  • Ciarin offers up some things no one should say, including things health care providers should never say. Like "oops!"
  • SuSuseriffic provides some guidelines on what not to say including remembering that a pregnant woman is more than her pregnancy. Thank you for the reminder; I think it's something many forget!

Thank you, everyone, for such a great collection! The next carnival will be on September 6. Theme will be "first births"... so share the first birth you've encountered whether it be your own, one you assisted with, attended, or even just your thoughts on what you want for the first birth experience. Email your submissions to knitting-fool AT hotmail DOT com.


Mrs. Spit said...

I didn't think of all of the things that people say to women whose babies have died. I'm glad that others did.

Heather Griffith Brewer said...

You know I said "reformed labor and delivery nurse" as a wink, wink? Right?
It was all with love I swear!

Anonymous said...

This was great. Thanks for hosting!


Molly said...

I make sure to NEVER tell a pregnant woman about my birth experience. It was very bad, and wasn't caused by interventions or surgery-happy doctors or anything like that. It was just one of those horrible, unusual completely natural labors that just went very wrong.

Also, if a mother is planning a natural birth, DON'T tell them that they can't do it or that they'll need an epidural or otherwise be condescending about their birth plan!

WiseWoman said...

Thanks so much for linking to my blog. Gloria Lemay, Vancouver, BC